dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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