So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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