I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
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In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
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It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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