The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
