so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm always down for nudity.
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