Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
