he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
