he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
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So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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