I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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