Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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