so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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