I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
