i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
