brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
