At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
soo... how was my night?
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