weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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