Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
