can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
