i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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