youre lurking in front of me
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
