I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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