yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
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He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
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You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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