dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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