There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
