Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
