It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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