so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
