idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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