her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
