is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
there was a trapeze. enough said
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
