Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize