Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's never too late to be topless.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
