Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We have so much sex to catch up on
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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