Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
