Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
This is my gift to your gina
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
