i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize