she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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