Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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