Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
