You're my little dorito
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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