there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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