woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
