It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
