i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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