Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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