Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize