none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You're a waste of cheezeits
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
