Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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