I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
