Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
