we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
