I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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