I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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