So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
