Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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