On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
