Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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