office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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