I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
