Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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