doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
