the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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