great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
