There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
